Michelle Demystified - Gemini link
A very warm Welcome to Michelle. Congratulations to her!!! If experience in recent years has taught me anything, it is that I have the ability to influence people from half a world away.
Indeed, I write this now with both confidence and heartfelt conviction from a faraway land, from literally, half a world away.
Michelle is to begin a new and better life with me in Johannesburg,in the first instance; she has captured an English gentleman and we have plans for the future. She will have a new career, a new family (and - she is an abuse survivor like myself, and I am to join her after my contract at Shanxi Normal University ends in July..
She is leaving behind an old life, just as I am, and has the honour to 'recruit' a modern, 21st century, university educated man! We are discussing starting our new life after I am finished in China.
Michelle is not, of course, alone in beginning a new life; I myself am currently rebuilding my life following ten years of abuse and its aftermath; it has been a long road indeed. And she has left an abusive man with my guidance and support. And just in time for her birthday. And we will never have any arguments due to me forgetting her birthday. I can be certain of that. How so? Because it is a date I already know and remember as that of my late father, who shared the birth date of March 5th.
Despite being a citizen of a francophone country, her English is surprisingly good! And she has a figure which the majority of men can only dream about!
Over the last weekend I began to introduce Michelle. She is my new partner - for life I not only hope, but say with heartfelt conviction! I began by introducing her to my close circles including my daughters - of course. My daughters replied they just want to see me happy after years of heartbreak and trauma. It did not take long for both of us to realise that we have a certain chemistry - no ice to break. Just maybe once in a lifetime perhaps, a certain sixth sense kicks in. It is a feeling that maybe, I have at long last found a true soulmate. My younger daughter estimated her to be 25 or 30 years of age. Well, she is more than that, but it is the thought - or the compliment - that counts. And her birthday is easy to remember. It is on the same day as my late fathers was.
She is living in Johannesburg, South Africa, but is actually from Cameroon and hence speaks English and French and Arabic. She was desperately asking me to come to South Africa but I explained that I needed to finish my contract in China first! I knew right away that it would be a long 5 months indeed. I am writing this in between two English classes at Shanxi Normal University where I am currently teaching English, in between classes. The classes are separated by an hour, long enough for me to be productive but not long enough for it to be worth returning to the residential building.
She is from the Fulani or Fula tribe, a widely dispersed people, many of whom have relatively light skin colour. And as is usual for such a people, she has an extended family. At time of writing she has no children of her own.
It is hard to explain in words the true feeling when we met. Other than in terms of what we have in common. I think it is true to say that we are in fact carbon copies of each other. How so?
Both of us have left abusive and narcissistic partners and there is great empathy there. How can you have a true intimate bond with someone you have no empathy with? After many years of hell, it took no time for either of us to bond with little need for words - except to share our experiences. Both of us have survived being abuse victims and yet have somehow survived *just barely long enough* to live to exchange experiences and to tell the tale.
But let us not dwell too much on the past. For with both of us is that warm feeling that comes with sensing a bright future. Of course, I have said this about others before, but I feel really confident that I know now my destination when July 15th at last rolls around. And her own circles are already thanking me for rescuing her from her situation at just the right time. For whereas I already revolted against my abuser in a sudden outpouring of rage, Michelle had to find me first and I provided the necessary courage to leave suddenly and without warning. I am good at that kind of thing. Both of us have health impacts from what we have gone through and neither of us would survive a repeat of our past.
In 2016 I rescued myself before it was too late (and for both of us it very nearly was:-), now I have come into Michelle's life as a liberator. She said I am like a lion - I do not think she is saying that because I have long hair (although I do, and she did not want me to have it cut - but it still needs to be trimmed from time to time:- ) but the meaning has more to do with empathy. After all, if you have no empathy in a relationship, then what in the name of the lord is the relationship for?
And already I am getting congratulations from her close circles for saving her. Just wait until I meet them! I will be booking a flight to Johannesburg very soon!
I once thought that the unloved cannot love, and I have heard it said many times. But in my view, I believe that it is not quite true. I have come to realise that the unloved can be taught to love. But it just takes the right teacher. That is, if the right teacher ever appears. And for both of us it has finally happened. And only just in time.
Finger me for updates! finger [email protected]
David, 04/03/2025
Michelle is obviously a more mature lady, and I am quite happy with that.
I love her not for money (nor vice versa - I do not want a gold digger like my ex wife!!!) not because she is perfect but because she is perfect for me:- )
I love her for who she is and what she means to me, and as a fellow abuse victim with the scars to prove it, a mutual feeling of empathy developed right away.
And will she soon be known as Michelle Norris? Watch this space!
About the Fulani Tribe from which Michelle comes (ODP)
About the Fulani Tribe from which Michelle comes (PDF)
It sounds ominous, but what exactly is Fulani Jihad?
To learn about the history of the Fulani nd their culture, see this video.
Plenty more to come here soon...!
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